Wow, was Black Friday a mess. I wouldn’t know on my own; I spent the day at home and at the hospital. My husband and I make it a priority to not shop on Black Friday and to keep Christmas presents in general on a sane level. However, I had plenty of family members shopping or working or both on the day and all I heard about was chaos, chaos, chaos.

Really? Do we really need such insanity in our lives—and have we really learned nothing from the economic crisis? If anything good came from it, I was hoping that people would at least learn to live within their means, scale back, focus on what really matters… that sort of thing. That’s certainly what we’ve been trying to do—and the last thing I want to teach my daughter is that the holidays are about getting the best deal at 2:00 AM, waiting in line for hours for some trinket or another that will only be obsolete by next season.

Oy.

And today is Cyber Monday, considered the biggest shopping day online. But rather than hitting all of those Internet discounts and buying gifts that you know people may not even like in the first place, why not do something entirely new instead? Here are some ideas.

Make Some Phonecalls

Actually ASK people what they’d like for Christmas. This will save you from the headache of worrying over your gift and it will save them from making a return. If you really want to buy a present, ask—and if you want to do something different, ask what their favorite charity is and make a note to give a donation to that charity.

Make Some Plans

Instead of a material gift, give some time this year. Clean someone’s house (we’re thinking of getting my parents’ carpet cleaned for Christmas this year—my mother’s wanted it forever), give free babysitting (my absolute most favorite present!), or cook something delicious and offer a surprise dinner. It might be the most memorable gift your friend or family member receives.

Make…Something

Homemade gifts are so not a cliché. In fact, many people—particularly grandparents—love them. How about a quilt or afghan if you do that sort of thing? Maybe an ornament with a family photo? From a pillow featuring your nephew’s favorite sports team logo to a bracelet for your cousin, there are limitless things you can make from the heart that will have so much more meaning than anything you could buy.