Nursing homes never sound like great places when they come up, do they? You always think of elderly abuse, people who are slowly dying and wasting away, or general sadness. However, they aren’t all like this, and they don’t have to be like this, either. Many retirement centers offer plenty of recreational activities for residents, as well as clean, comfortable surroundings.

Either way, people in nursing facilities can definitely get very lonely. It’s not hard to carve out a little bit of time to go and visit. Yes, sometimes it will break your heart; once while delivering flowers for Mother’s Day, I was confused with someone else by a patient with some dementia, which was pretty sad—but also made her day, as she assumed I was her granddaughter. You just have to smile and carry on, not letting on if you are upset, and you can definitely make an elderly person’s day.

Here are some ideas for visiting nursing homes.

• Visit your relatives often. Weekly is great—twice or more a week is better. Many elderly residents do not have family members to come and visit, but if those who did had more regular visits from actual family members they would surely be much less lonely.
• Make a regular holiday appearance. Many people are most depressed around the holidays, and it means a lot to have some company during these special times. Bring some confetti and noisemakers on New Year’s or Independence Day (fireworks and poppers are not recommended, though they may be safe if you get prior permission with certain residents), delicious pastries and cakes for Christmas, and beautiful bouquets for both Mother’s and Father’s Day.
• Handmade gifts are well received. Have children help make these gifts if you can; they will be even more meaningful. Cut out some simple hearts and glue them to long strings of yarn and you can make an easy decoration to hang in patients’ rooms. If residents have photos of loved ones, creating a pretty poster or photo display is another great idea they might love.
• Fulfill a dream. Remember Patch Adams? I’m not suggesting you fill a tub of noodles for an elderly person and let her swim in it (although if it’s approved, she’d like to, it’s safe, and you can—why not?), but if there is some kind of dream a person would love to have fulfilled and you can find a creative way to do it, why not? Maybe you could take them to the one place they wanted to visit—say, a local fancy restaurant, or a nearby famous historic site. If they can’t leave due to infirmary, see if you can bring a souvenir or a meal to-go back for them.